LOGIN
REGISTER
Enter affiliate code for sitewide discount!
America's #1 Horse Piss Supplier
Meet the Horses
RealHorsePiss believes in the ethical treatment of our horses.
RealHorsePiss believes in the ethical treatment of our horses.
At RealHorsePiss, the condition of our horses is important to us. To our workers, the horses are no less than family, which is why we go above and beyond to treat them with care and respect. Keeping up with high demand and supplying almost 40 distribution centers though, we simply have too many horses to show them all on one page. Here's just a few though of our beloved kin, so that you can get to know your suppliers better.
Terrence
Weight — 1700lb
Eye Color — Brown
Zodiac Sign — Pisces ♓
How Hungry — ★★☆☆☆
Favorite Food — Watermelon
Favorite Color — Puce Favorite Song — Glycerine by Bush Fun Fact Terrence is capable of vocal mimicry on the same level as parrots
Craig
Weight — 1900lb
Eye Color — Brown
Zodiac Sign — Capricorn ♑︎
How Hungry — ★★★★☆
Favorite Food — Barley
Favorite Color — Teal Favorite Song — Hand in my Pocket by Alanis Morissette Fun Fact Craig's reaction time is double the speed of his peers. Horses already have the fastest reaction time of domestic animals, making Craig hyper alert!
Bryce
Weight — 1600lb
Eye Color — Gray
Zodiac Sign — Sagitarrius ♐︎
How Hungry — ★★☆☆☆
Favorite Food — Celery
Favorite Color — Mauve Favorite Song — Best Nightcore Mix 2023 ♫ Gaming Music Mix ♫ New Music 2023 EDM Gaming Music Fun Fact Bryce is known to walk straight up on their two back hooves while humans are not around
Foal Badguy
Weight — 2000lb
Eye Color — Brown
Zodiac Sign — Taurus ♉︎
How Hungry — ★★★★☆
Favorite Food — Strawberries
Favorite Color — Barn Red Favorite Song — You Were the Gasoline by Mortality Rate Fun Fact! After extensive self reflection and cognitive behavioral therapy, Foal is no longer homophobic!
Emile
Weight — 1300lb
Eye Color — Green
Zodiac Sign — Gemini ♊︎
How Hungry — ★★★☆☆
Favorite Food — Pineapple
Favorite Color — School Bus Yellow Favorite Song — Rooster by Alice In Chains Fun Fact Emile has been trained to play Rock, Paper, Scissors
Oliver
Weight — 2100lb
Eye Color — Navy
Zodiac Sign — Sagitarrius ♐︎
How Hungry — ★★★★★
Favorite Food — Carrots
Favorite Color — Beige Favorite Song — Yeah! by Usher Fun Fact Oliver knows
Victoria
Weight — 900lb
Eye Color — Brown
Zodiac Sign — Scorpio ♏︎
How Hungry — ★★☆☆☆
Favorite Food — Pears
Favorite Color — Neon Green Favorite Song — I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston Fun Fact Victoria likes to wear her silly little outfits
James
Weight — 320lb
Eye Color — Brown
Zodiac Sign — Pisces ♓︎
How Hungry — ★☆☆☆☆
Favorite Food — Raisins
Favorite Color — Hot Pink Favorite Song — Seven Years by Saosin Fun Fact James has a seemingly innate understanding of English
Imperator
Weight — 1500lb
Eye Color — Brown
Zodiac Sign — Cancer ♋
How Hungry — ★★★☆☆
Favorite Food — Apricots
Favorite Color — Klein Blue Favorite Song — Jupiter, the Bringer of Jollity by Gustav Holst Fun Fact Imperator is a clean freak
Milson
Weight — 1650lb
Eye Color — Brown
Zodiac Sign — Aries ♈
How Hungry — ★★★★★
Favorite Food — Raw Cauliflower
Favorite Color — Apple Red Favorite Song — This is Shangrila by Mother Love Bone Fun Fact Milson has 3 times more taste buds than the average horse!
Nyx
Weight — 1300lb
Eye Color — Brown
Zodiac Sign — Aries ♈
How Hungry — ★★★☆☆
Favorite Food — Baked Beans
Favorite Color — Royal Purple Favorite Song — Casual by Chappell Roan Fun Fact Nyx is a proficient acrobat, and is capable of galloping across a tight rope! Impressive!
Bram
Weight — 1800lb
Eye Color — Blue
Zodiac Sign — Leo ♌
How Hungry — ★★★★☆
Favorite Food — Toast
Favorite Color — Saffron Favorite Song — Where Am I? by Title Fight Fun Fact Bram knows how to make improvised explosives
Phoebe
Weight — 1400lb
Eye Color — Brown
Zodiac Sign — Virgo ♍
How Hungry — ★★☆☆☆
Favorite Food — Licorice
Favorite Color — British Racing Green Favorite Song — Our Beauty Decayed, Nothing Was Left by Chamber Fun Fact Phoebe is the reigning victor of the RHP DDR Championship!
Glumpy
Weight — 1565lb
Eye Color — Brown
Zodiac Sign — Cancer ♋
How Hungry — ★★★★☆
Favorite Food — Finish Line® Apple-A-Day™ Electrolyte Bucket
Favorite Color — Guaroce Favorite Song — Whatever is on Obama's Summer playlist Fun Fact Glumpy is engaged in a hard-fought battle with cancer.
